4 Years After Betrayal

Crazy to think that I started this blog 4 years ago. Seems like a really long time ago since my husband did what he did. Altho, some days it feels like yesterday – ahh – nahhh- not really… It feels like it has been years. The first two years were just utterly painful. Then it pretty much got easier and easier for the most part. Thankfully! …Cant say time heels all wounds but with time, we have done so much work on our relationship and our communication that the wounds are just scars at this point. As with a scar, if you keep picking at it, it wont heal. It will continue to re-open and it will bleed again. So there it is, I dont pick at it – ever! I have finally gotten to the point where we don’t talk about the affair anymore. I don’t even throw one-liner jabs at him anymore. The triggers are barely even there or when they do pop in my head, they are there and gone before I even sit and deeply think on them anymore. I don’t want to be reminded of any of it so why speak upon it or think about it. In order to get it out of my life, I had to let it go! I do still read some blogs on affairs and infidelity. I think this is just my comfort zone where I know people have gone through the same shit as me, if not worse, and I have made a few blogging-buds but I dont visit the blogs to re-open my past what so ever.

4 years later and I come in peace!

I will never understand why he betrayed me. I will never like his answers. I don’t think I will ever fully forgive him but it has been 4 years and he has shown me that he IS the man I married for many good reasons, more reasons then bad (yes, the bad ones almost literally killed me) but he really isnt that terrible man that he was being for several years.  I do believe he chose to make mistakes over and over yet I do believe that he is terribly sorry for them. There is no need to beat him up or he beat himself up for it anymore. I trust him again. Its not blind trust, like where I would have bet the Dow-Jones that he would never do that to me, but I dont check his phone or even worry about it anymore. When he was messing up back then, there were signs that I just didnt want to believe. If I ever  had any questioning at this point, I will go with my gut, not his words. With that said, he never gives me a reason to even question what he is up to so we are all good.

4 years since my husbands trashy-ass infidelity and we are finally…

…Happily Ever After ❤


20 thoughts on “4 Years After Betrayal

    • Stronger, meh, I wouldnt say that…more real?… well being as he was being extremely fake for years, yes. Before he had stepped out of our marriage, we had a very strong relationship and I thought we was the realist so idk. I truly believe his cheating had very little to do with our marriage being happy or unhappy, it was purely opportunity. When the whore presented herself with open legs and mouth, he wasnt strong enough to shut it down. Unfortunately, he shouldnt have put himself in that position over and over again. Now days, he doesnt put himself in that position but if he did, I would hope he is stronger then that but I definitely wouldnt put my money on it. We are in a good place now – again. He shows me constantly that he is a good man to me so I am happy with that.

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  1. Good to hear. I like that you can now make the choice not to go there. I felt in early days that I could not make a choice…I just went there in anger and sad. It does get better but it takes a lot of work from both sides. Xxx

    Liked by 4 people

    • I would go there when angry or sad as well, but after years have past, I feel like not every thing he slips on is because he was a lying cheating piece of shit LOL do you know what I mean? When ever he would piss me off, I always took it back to the affair. Like, he didnt take the trash out, oh thats because he likes to dig in the trash that filthy piece of shit or he is 15 minutes late, prolly cuz he is effing some whore…LMAO! I am over doing that.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Always great to hear a couple that has made it to the other side and found happiness again. I’m coming up on 4 years in a few weeks, around my anniversary. We are taking a trip this year, which is the first time since discovery. Even before that we didn’t celebrate for a few years as we weren’t in a good place. You said it, and I am at the point that I need to let it go. I don’t want this in my life anymore. I will never forget but I’ve forgiven. I don’t hold it over him. Like your husband (and many others), he was a different person for awhile (for a myriad of reasons) but he is back to himself. I recognize him again. But his affair still sneaks into my thoughts a lot. I wonder how much of this is truly still pain or just “habit” now. It will take a very conscious effort and choice for me, but I need to let it go. Take the lessons learned and leave the pain behind. I’m tired of carrying this load, which isn’t mine to carry anyway. Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 6 people

    • “Take the lessons learned and leave the pain behind.” ABSOLUTELY! …you will never forget it, it is apart of your story now but that doesnt mean you have to put it on replay – we all know we do that way too much as it is . I wish you luck on your trip, hope you have a wonderful time and dont let the past of his affair join you. XOXO

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I have come to realise that my husband s emotional intellect was stuck at 21. Not sure why but I can see it clearer now. He says the discovery was the trauma that knocked him to his senses and re start his growth emotionally. He is such a nicer person now he is no longer a selfish prick.

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  4. I will be forever grateful that I saw this post. We are a little over the three year mark since I found out about my husband’s affair. I don’t think about it every day…but when I do, I get stuck there again. I really appreciated reading this and all of the comments. Thank you for sharing ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Thanks for sharing your story. It’s good to hear it’s possible as I’m loosing hope these days. We are approaching the 2 year mark this weekend. The first year was very painful but I was driven by hope. Now it’s not as overwhelming but I still have that painful heart wrenching feeling randomly resurfacing, similar to what I felt when I found out. I angers me and I’m gradually loosing hope. Also my husband’s patience to support me are disappearing. This further angers me. We both want to stay together and love each other but it’s really started to drain us. Any advice ? Why I’m struggling to let this go ? What made you let it go and when? Was it gradual or a one off decision?


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