Just to put this out there….
When you cheat and still want to stay with your partner, it is no longer your choice, its theirs.
What I mean by that is just because you are oh-so-sorry. Just because you show complete remorse and have takin all the steps to prove yourself and to show you know you fucked up. Just because you have done every. single. thing possible to make things right again, does not mean the partner that YOU CHEATED ON is going to stay with you.
Lets make this very clear…
Yes, my husband cheated on me. It may (or may not – who knows with liars) have been a handful of times within the 4 years that it all began. That is irrelevant. HE STILL CHEATED!
He didn’t confess out of the kindness of his heart. (And even when he had to confess, I literally had to beat it out of him)
He didn’t stop after a one time fuck up or even two times. He kept doing it and continued to allow the cum-bucket to think he was still thirsty for more.
He broke our vows.
He broke many promises.
He broke my fucking heart!!
Now yes, for two years now he has done pretty much everything possible to prove to me how deeply sorry he is.
There has been no contact with Scuz or Crusty.
He isn’t being a shady mo-fo.
He is constantly showing and telling me how much he loves me and blah blah blah
Honestly, none of this matters to me anymore.
It has nothing to do with what he is or is not doing.
What is done – is done.
I have been criticized for allowing my husband to have false hopes. That if he does x,y,z… I will forgive him and stay married. That he did x,y,z yet it took me two years to finally decide I still want a divorce.
Don’t judge me!
I hoped that I could (stay with him). The only way we would both have a chance at saving our marriage was to try, right?
I love him. Always will.
I will never allow this man an opportunity to destroy me like that again. And in my heart, I know he is capable of being a real piece of shit, I don’t get down with fake ass people. Specially be married to one – ya fuckin right! I am only as loyal to you as you are to me! So in order to save myself ( and really, to save him), I want out.
People keep saying “ but what if he does this or that’s messed up, he has done everything”
Lets not forget…
HE FAILED ME!!
WE tried to reconcile and remain married.
I can not.
Sorry boo boo
Guess I failed too