– Post His Affair –
…I notice every. single. thing… the good, the bad, and the ugly. Like a deer in headlights..
The way he goes out of his way to text me “good morning beautiful” or when he stops me from instantly getting swarmed with this or that as soon as I walk in the door from work just to kiss me as though he has sincerely missed me. I love that. He fills my Cadillac when the gas is low, or picks me up some new hanging flower baskets for the yard. I like to drink corona and lime on the weekend so he makes sure to get me that instead of only getting budlight for himself and figuring – she will just have to drink what ever I drink. He cooks a couple times a week, he will even then clean up after dinner too. Going out of his way after a long work day to spend quality time with both our kids, whether it be to just share stories or to play games. (..and so on… I could continue on the list, but I am sure you get it)
What I am trying to say is..
Its not just all on me anymore. We are a team again. United as one
The cracks in the foundation of our marriage, that were created by his cheating, are being re -cemented by all the little things that we do, in essence making the big picture be that much better!
Can’t say picture perfect, but maybe.. a beautiful disaster.. a collage 😛
Of course we have our “off” days… the difference now, as apposed to before finding out he was being a piece of shit… we are communicating better! We care. When one of us is being unusually quiet…we want to know why and ask, instead of just brushing it off and figuring what ever it is, they will get over it. Neither one of us can stand when we shut each other out. A response of “don’t worry about it” or “I’m fine”..when we both know something is wrong… its a trigger anymore. He knows that and so do I. So we both are constantly working on opening up and expressing exactly how we are feeling at that moment. Whether we like the answer or not, an honest response is better then nothing or a lie.
..A working progress we are.
We have been trying so hard. Every. day. Theres ups and downs…but hey…2 steps forward, one step back. As long as there is progress… I am here…
I notice the changes.. and I am welcoming them with open arms!! I am beyond thankful for them actually.
Good luck to each and every one of you trying to stay with your spouse after betrayal!
But if you are truly trying to stay together..Open your mind (it takes two to make things better)…and please, more importantly open your heart.
Possibilities are endless..