After discovery of such betrayal, I seriously went all “Harriet the Spy”. I went through years of cell phones bills, re-read years of text messaging, got on my husbands computer and went through everything possible on his hard-drive, email accounts, and social media. I discovered what key-loggers are, how to install apps on cell phones to track phone calls, text messages, GPS, pictures, anything and everything. I slept with one eye open. I had eyes on the back of my head LOL. I was on a mission, a mission to put the puzzle pieces together to conclude how I was such a fool and to make sure that I would NEVER be played the fool again.
It has now been 10 months since I first found out about my husbands affair. I am absolutely positive he has never communicated with the skank again. He doesn’t game or communicate with her fat-fuck of a boyfriend either. He isn’t continuously searching porn or anything I disapprove of. And when he says he is going somewhere, he is doing just that. It feels good to know that my husband is still capable of honesty, but, I have been comforted by the reassurance of being able to check up on his every move, if I felt the need to.
Obviously, trust is a huge issue after someone fucks around on you, but if you are never willing to try and trust that person again, to give them trust, how are they ever going to prove that they are or can be trust worthy ever again?
With that said, how long is too long to have the betrayer be an open book and for the betrayed to be checking their every move???
For me, I have decided it is that time. It has basically been a year and as scary as it is, I feel it is time to try and somewhat allow my husband to prove he is or still can be trust worthy (without my back-up resources). I know that whenever, or if ever I start to feel that doubt, I will listen to my intuition, instead of ever questioning myself again. And if that time ever comes, where I am questioning my husband, I now know of resources to verify my suspicions and I will handle things accordingly.
I guess knowledge is power.
I never wanted to know so much about the secrets of affairs. Nor did I ever want to learn how to catch a cheater…
But I know now!