.It’s been a while..
…since I could hold my head up high…
Can’t say I am doing good, but at least I am doing better.
At this point, I can’t change what has been said and done, now it is about accepting..
I know what my husband has done, now its up to me to accept that he isn’t the person who I thought he was and I can either accept that he is so very sorry and that he won’t do it again, or I can choose not to accept his faults and move on, taking a chance with somebody else.
I think acceptance is one of the hardest parts about this – being betrayed. I don’t want to accept that my man can be so …disgustingly stupid! I don’t want to accept that I didn’t mean more to him – that our family didn’t mean more. I don’t want to accept that he has no standards (or they must be pretty freakin low cuz he was digging in the trash) ..
Yet, I either need to accept what is … find some sort of forgiveness, or accept that my marriage failed and accept that there must be someone else out there for me..
I don’t really understand why my husband chose his path, so it is very hard for me to accept. (there just really is no justifiable reason for betrayal)..
Although the key to acceptance is willingness, so for now, I am willing … willing to try…
..Try and develop a stronger relationship and get to know a man I once knew, but get to know the new him better (if that even makes sense)..
..Try to forgive! I have so much anger and pain lingering in me, I really need to find an inner-peace and LET IT GO! I know when I finally find the courage to let it go, I will be so much more happier!
..Try to work on my marriage. It’s not broken, just bent, can we learn to love again??
All I can do is try, try, try … and I am more then willing to!!!
On the other hand..